From Christian Long:

"I get it. You were a noble student of the highest caliber 'back in the day' before text messaging and cell phones and this wacky Internet business. You were a fine speller, you kept your notebook neatly on your desk, and you always answered something "above average" with your hand politely raised in the air. You memorized the multiplication tables all the way to 12, you studied Latin (and its sus scrofa domesticus-Latin brother), and you believed Sputnik was the cat's meow. You had neat penmanship, you knew all the dates of all the battles and all the dead people, and you kept a glorious stash of index cards with obscure library resources neatly bound by a rubber band.

"And if you're dead set on helping me master 'your past', please realize I'm going to need a nap. And something to fidget with. And a bus token to get to my job down at the buggy whip factory where I'll be standing at the front of the line.

"Or, you can help me prepare for my future. Your choice."